I think one of the most important things any young woman- or man- needs to study and understand, are levels of friendship. You will run into troubled waters, if you give top level access to first level friendships.

No matter how nice a person sounds on social media, and even off social media, for people you do not really know, proof the relationship first. Give it time. Be cautious. Create conscious boundaries. A lot of people run into troubled waters in relationships, because they lack boundaries. Even in a marriage, there are some boundaries, because the other person is an entity in his or her own right, and you wouldn’t want to choke their personhood with your invasive behavior.

No matter how we want to coat it in modern jargon, it is not proper to go visit a man you hardly know, alone at home, or in exclusive places where you are going to be vulnerable. Even the ones you think you know, can spring an evil surprise, how much more a virtual stranger who has nothing to lose?

A lot of people do not want to be left out of modern trends, so they rush headlong into doing what others are doing so that they are not seen as stale, or as not happening! It’s really a lack of self confidence, powered by an overwhelming need to be accepted so you do not feel excluded, as far as I’m concerned. </p><p class=”” style=”text-align: justify;”>If you must meet, you can meet up in public places and give yourself time to study the person, to have an inkling of who they really are, and you will have an inkling, if you are not rushing things. After a while of relating, some things could slip, if you are not looking away, blinded by the allure of the externals. Even nature shows you how stupid it is to pluck a flower that is just budding, and not give it time to unfold because it would die off! It takes the elements of time, sunlight, water, nutrients and the right environment for any plant to bloom and grow and for it to rise to its true potential, it has to be carefully tended and nurtured- and this involves time, so the gardener must be patient.

Likewise for any relationship that must be meaningful and healthy- it takes a process to attain some levels of significance in your relationships and it is a lifelong process too.

Give your relationships time to unfold- give them time to bud and grow, whether contracted on or offline and do not joke with boundaries. You will save yourself and others, a lot of headache! UIK